PARSER: your are in a field. exits n,s,e,w
>eat grass
PARSER: it tastes bitter
>prance over e
PARSER: I don't understand you. type help for common commands
PARSER: use oops to correct mistakes
>BURN BABY BURN! DISCO INFERNOOOO!
PARSER: there's no need to shout
PARSER: you prance east
PARSER: you're in a field next to a forest
PARSER: you can see a bike here
PARSER: you can go back west to the field
PARSER: there's a path to the east
PARSER: wild cougars prevent you from going north or south
>get on bike and ride east
>and make faces at the cougars
PARSER: you get on the bike
PARSER: you ride east
PARSER: you don't know how to make faces
PARSER: you're in the forest
PARSER: you see dark
>steer bike by echolocating
PARSER: steer (using ecolocation pod)
PARSER: your ecolocator indicated exits west and south
PARSER: *indicates
*laughes>exit west
PARSER: you leave the forest
PARSER: the cougars seem closer somehow
hehe
>ride a cougar
PARSER: you'll have to get off the bike first
oh
>get off bike
PARSER: you get off the bike
PARSER: the cougars seem closer
>drop the raw meat I was carrying
PARSER: the cougars lunge at the meat
PARSER: they're pretty distracted
>get back on the bike and take off with the briefcase the cougars dropped
PARSER: one of the cougars coughs up a briefcase
PARSER: you get back on the bike
hehe
PARSER: you just manage to pick up the briefcase, polo-style
PARSER: please choose a direction
PARSER: (look to see possible directions)
>think deeply...... look
PARSER: you're in a field by a forest
PARSER: there's a pack of cougars devouring a hunk of raw meat
PARSER: there's an exit west to afield
PARSER: *a field
PARSER: a path into the forest to the east
PARSER: a riverbank south
PARSER: and mountains to the north
oo pretty
hmm.
>ride south to riverbank
this is hilarious
PARSER: you ride south to the riverbank
PARSER: you're at the edge of a shallow river
PARSER: something glinting in the river catches your eye
PARSER: you can go north to a field
PARSER: east or west along the riverbank
>get off bike
PARSER: you get off the bike
>retrieve eye
PARSER: you don't sea any I here
>from the thing in the river... it caught my eye, and I want it back
PARSER: :-P
hehe
PARSER: you can't quite reach the thing in the river
PARSER: perhaps you could GO RIVER
oh ok
>go river
PARSER: you step into the river
PARSER: the current almost sweeps you off your feet, but you manage to stay upright
cool.
PARSER: you see something shiny in the water
PARSER: your feet start going numb
PARSER: your feet are pretty numb
PARSER: you're not sure if you still have feet
PARSER: you slip and fall
>swim like a fishie!
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: when you regain your feet, you find your lucky tiger's foot is no longer in your INVENTORY
oh no!
PARSER: you see someting shiny in the water
>get shiny thing
PARSER: Platinum Platypus: Taken.
wow
PARSER: you see your tiger's foot swirling away to the west
>swim west!
PARSER: you swim west
PARSER: your tiger's foot is floating in front of you
>take tiger foot
PARSER: Lucky tiger's foot: Taken.
*prance with imbecilic joy!
PARSER: the water carries you west
>prance, rather
PARSER: you're in a whirlpool
oh dear!
PARSER: you see a tree branch overhanging the river
PARSER: you see a stopper on a chain at the bottom of the river
>grab stopper?
PARSER: Stopper: Taken
PARSER: (try EXAMINEing the river)
>find the plug? oh. examine river.
my text command skills are getting rusty
PARSER: there seems to be a bit of a hole at the bottom of the river
PARSER: maybe that's what's causing the whirlpool
ahh, i see. i have been enlightened.
PARSER: :-P
>put stopper in hole
PARSER: you start to plug the hole, but then you realize the field would flood and the cougars would drown
oh dear.
PARSER: you decide against it, and pull the chain from the bottom of the river instead
oh ok cool
PARSER: you have an entire stopper on a chain
>make the stopper and chain into an attractive fashin statement. perhaps a necklace. oh, and swim away from the whirlpool?
PARSER: you take the stopper off the chain
PARSER: you connect the chain to itself
PARSER: you aquire a Charm Bracelet
oo!
PARSER: you swim east
>get out of river and get on the bike?
PARSER: you get out of the river
PARSER: you see the riverbank where you left your bike to the east
PARSER: you see a snail here
>talk to snail
PARSER: the snail can't talk
oh. poo.
PARSER: it's a cute snail, though
>pet snail
PARSER: the snail purrrs
>cuddle snail
PARSER: you cuddle the snail
PARSER: it seems to feel awkward
hah
>put snail down and feed it some, um, cake
PARSER: you give the snail your piece of leftover birthday cake
PARSER: it eats the cake
PARSER: its shell glows faintly
PARSER: (holy glowing snails, batman!)
hehee
let's see
>take glowing magical snail?
PARSER: Lightningsnail: taken
oo
PARSER: the snail takes its place on your hat
hehe!
>get back on bike
PARSER: you can't see a bike here
oh
PARSER: (pssst, your bike is east)
i'm on the wrong side of the river? oh
>go east! hidey ho!
PARSER: no, you're just too far down the river
oh
PARSER: you stroll east
PARSER: you see your bike here
wheee
>get on bike
PARSER: you get on your bike
PARSER: the snail seems noncomittal
i suppose it doesn't want to leave, huh?
>ask snail if it has wife and kids
PARSER: the snail shakes its head
hmm.
PARSER: (it's frightened by speed)
oh.
>put snail in pocket?
PARSER: you put the snail in your pocket
or maybe I should walk.
PARSER: it seems relieved
PARSER: your bike bell rings itself impatiently
hmm.
Hehe!
>ride bike! Play Star Wars theme music!
PARSER: please choose a direction
oh ok.... >east
PARSER: you ride your bike east
PARSER: you put the Star Wars theme music cassette in your walkman
PARSER: you hear music coming from the earbuds
PARSER: you're on a riverbank, next to a forest
hehe
PARSER: there's a path to the north
PARSER: you can return west along the riverbank
PARSER: sharp rocks in the river make it impossible to enter here
PARSER: there's an inexplicable wall to the east
hmm.... >climb inexplicable wall
PARSER: you try to climb the wall, but it's too slick
>get snail to climb inexplicable wall
PARSER: a glowing arrow lights up on the wall, pointing north
oh.
PARSER: the snail climbs up ten feet, then comes back down
>take snailm thank it, then get on the bike and go north
PARSER: snail:taken
PARSER: the snail shrugs its shoulders
PARSER: you get on the bike
PARSER: you ride the bike north
>sing to self
PARSER: the snail closes it's eyes and squeaks
PARSER: its shell glows more brightly
ooh shiny
PARSER: you sing "A might fortress is our God" to yourself
PARSER: in four parts
wow
i have teh skill
PARSER: the walkman stops playing
PARSER: you're in a clearing in the forest
PARSER: the snail dimly illuminates the area
PARSER: there's a path back south
PARSER: a path east to the field
ooh
PARSER: erm
PARSER: west to the field
PARSER: :-P
hey, i wouldnt have noticed
you were in the car to butler, surely you remember
anyway...
PARSER: :-P
ok, let.s see. >examine clearing
PARSER: and a wide path, over which big, old oaks arch, to the east
PARSER: you kick around in the leaves
PARSER: your foot strikes something solid
oooh >examine solid.. thing
PARSER: you can't see any solid thing
oh.
>look in the leaves>
?
PARSER: well
PARSER: either search the leaves
PARSER: or
PARSER: take the leaves
oh ok
>take leaves?
PARSER: you try to pick up the leaves, but there's too many
PARSER: they slip through your fingers
hmm.
PARSER: maybe you could put them in something
PARSER: (check your INVENTORY)
>inventory
PARSER: you have:
PARSER: a magic snail (providing light)
PARSER: a lucky tiger's foot
PARSER: a platinum platypus
PARSER: a briefcase
PARSER: a bike (being ridden)
PARSER: a hat (being worn)
wow.
PARSER: and a jack-o-lantern trash bag
haha!
PARSER: and a walkman
>put leaves in jack-o-lantern trash bag
PARSER: and a kazoo
PARSER: you put the leaves in the trash bag
PARSER: it looks spooky
ooh.
PARSER: you see here a jack-o-lantern and a post with a slot
>examine post
PARSER: there's a slot for a coin or such
oh
PARSER: it's a nice post, with an iron horsehead on top
PARSER: and a ring for tying up bike
PARSER: *bikes
I don't suppose I have money. Is there a path anywhere?
PARSER: to the south, west, and
PARSER: "a wide path, over which big, old oaks arch, to the east"
oh. it would seem then that I ought to >tie bike to ring and go east
PARSER: could be
PARSER: think about the slot
hmm.
PARSER: do you have anything with something else in it?
PARSER: you had a star wars tape
PARSER: but it's in your walkman, which is closed
PARSER: so you can't see it
PARSER: what about another container?
let's see. >open briefcase
PARSER: you can't, it's locked
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: if in doubt, EXAMINE it
hmm... >examine briefcas
*e
I must be a really bad problem solver
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: not really
PARSER: just not used to this
haha
PARSER: the briefcase is fairly standard
PARSER: it's got combination locks
ah. i see.\
PARSER: it's got a piece of paper taped to one side
>read paper
PARSER: the paper says "O T F"
ooh. cryptic. cool.
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: >examine lock
>examine lock...
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: I must be a really nice parser
hah yeah
PARSER: the lock has three dials numbered 1-9
PARSER: you can set the lock by saying SET LOCK # # #
oh really
PARSER: ya rly
haha
ok...
let's try this. >set lock "0 2 4"
that probably makes no sense.
PARSER: you can't set the lock to that
haha ok
PARSER: the dials are numbered 1-9
oh duh.
*facepalm*
PARSER: :-)
wowwww
PARSER: you stick your face to your palm
PARSER: it doesn't stick very well
heh ok....haha!
PARSER: :-P
hmm. >sit and cogetate.
PARSER: you can't see with your hand on your face
>remove face from hand?
PARSER: you remove your face from your hand
PARSER: you can see again
awesome!
PARSER: you were close
that's odd.
PARSER: "O T F"
one two four? one three five? hmm.
PARSER: try and see
>set lock 124
PARSER: the lock clicks open
no way
PARSER: :-P
somehow that seemed... never mind :P
hehe
ok >open briefcase
PARSER: you open the briefcase
PARSER: a cougar cub runs off to the west
HAHA oh wow
PARSER: *jumps out of the briefcase and
poor little guy
ok
>examine briefcase
PARSER: "the briefcase is fairly standard. it's got combination locks. 
 it's got a piece of paper taped to one side"
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: try look in, or search
hehe ok
>search inside briefcase
PARSER: you can't find "inside" to search in
PARSER: strict parser!
>take break and prance around waving arms and singing "Is This The Way To Amarillo"
>then search briefcase
HANG ON - i have to go take a picture of the sunset
PARSER: ok
PARSER: GAME PAUSED
ok, i'm back
PARSER: wb
PARSER: just a sec
wb? and ok
PARSER: Welcome Back
oh! 
PARSER: ok
hehe
PARSER: you search the briefcase
PARSER: you find a box of snail food
how arbitrarily convenient =P
PARSER: an bottle of Mountain Dew of invisibility
PARSER: David Algier's car keys
PARSER: and a small coin
hehe!
ok
>take coin
>put coin in slot
PARSER: coin: you already have that
PARSER: (when you search, you get everything you find)
PARSER: you put the coin in the slot
PARSER: you hear the clinking of complicated machinery
cool
PARSER: one by one the trees along the path to the east light up
PARSER: ending in a big glowing, leafy Welcome mat
ooooh pretty
haha!
>tie up bike
PARSER: you tie up your bike
>go east
PARSER: it tugs at the cord, then lies down and starts snoring
PARSER: you walk east
PARSER: you see a glass room down the arched path to the east
>enter glass room
PARSER: you try to enter the room, but some kid stops you and starts mumbling about having lots of names and how PHP is fun and he wishes he knew C and...
PARSER: you try to hold out, but he's getting annoying, so you retreat
PARSER: you'll have to find a way to get past him
do i have any cake left?
PARSER: nope
hmm.
PARSER: what was in the briefcase?
oh. he probably wants his car keys.
PARSER: :-P
>give david the keys
PARSER: you don't see david here
>talk to the kid?
PARSER: you try, but you can't stand to keep up a conversation
bummer.
PARSER: you manage to find out one of his names is "Jack"
PARSER: :-D
oh, no way
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: cameo!
sweet
ok, let's see
>drink the Mountain Dew of Invisibility?
PARSER: you drink the mountain dew
PARSER: you fade from sight
PARSER: your snail seems perplexed
hehe!
I don't have any star trek tapes or anything?
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: do you need?
who knows
PARSER: start walkin
ok.... >march!
PARSER: you walk up to the bubble
PARSER: the kid goes ballistic
wow
PARSER: Oh, man! An alien disguised as a flying snail!
PARSER: he kneels
PARSER: as a representitive of my people, I'd like you to have this
PARSER: he gives you a bottle opener
cool.
PARSER: here, I'll open the door for you, sir
PARSER: he opens the door
PARSER: you find your walkman's playing the Star Trek theme for some reason
PARSER: the kid faints
hehe!
sorry *cough* ok >enter room
i mean >bubble
PARSER: you enter the bubble
>examine bubble
PARSER: hold on
hehe ok
PARSER: Abby Marsch greets you with a cheery hello
PARSER: Andrew Welton coughs
can she see me?
PARSER: erm
maybe she's greeting the snail
PARSER: you begin to fade back into view
oh cool
PARSER: Abby greets you with a cheery hello
hehe
PARSER: Andrew Welton coughs
PARSER: "we were wondering how we'd get the bottle opener from herman..."
PARSER: "now all we need is the Blenheims' "
PARSER: "It's in David's car, and he's lost his car keys"
whoa... i see the light...
>ask Andrew where David's car is
PARSER: "Why don't you just help David find his keys?"
dang. i thought I got to break into his car.
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: oh, you tried to look before...
huh?
>ask andrew where David is
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: here, I'll process your look
my look?
oh yeah
PARSER: you see Abby, Andrew, Bekah, David A, David Marsch, Julia, Priscilla, and Sarah Paris
PARSER: anyone missing?
PARSER: ok
PARSER: see David?
hehe
>give david his car keys
PARSER: David gratefully takes his keys and rushes out the door, knocking over some kid who's groggily trying to stand up
PARSER: the kid comes in
=P
PARSER: Guys! I just saw an alien! It was awesome! It listened to me and took a bottle opener and everything!
PARSER: he has just enought time to see the bottle opener in your hands before David A knocks him over on the return trip
PARSER: Josh Bryant crawls out from under the table
this is going to be a harsh moment of disillusionment
HAha!
PARSER: :-P
>say something pronounced wrong to Josh Bryant
>say "sKism"
PARSER: Josh Bryant corrects you on your grammar, pronunciation, and spelling
hehe! bonus points
PARSER: your score goes up by 10 points
PARSER: the "Jack" kid seems sad, but you let him feed your snail and he perks up
yay
PARSER: Andrew looks around and starts passing out Blenheims
hehe
PARSER: a grandfather clock here tolls out twelve hours (the weird kid's?) 
wow
shiny
PARSER: the room erupts
PARSER: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
literally or figuratively?
hehe!
PARSER: figuratively
that would be awesome
PARSER: :-P
PARSER: THE END
...wow.... I am so saving this chat
PARSER: :-P
can I put some bits of it on my xanga?
PARSER: I think I'll make it a real text adventure if I get the time
wow
PARSER: of course!
sweet
.... well, I better go
End of caitkins buffer: Tue Jan 02 18:07:34 2007